please!!!

Any ideas on something to write? I'm longing for a story or idea that completely moves me. Can you help????

I Found God Today

Sometimes in life we find what we least expect and those tiny bits of unexpectedness are sometimes the greatest of all gifts...

I had just woken up to the peaceful song of the birds and I was about to begin my routine day, when something stirred inside me; something was different. I had a odd feeling to kneel down before some guy that everyone talked about and thank him for such a beautiful morning. I felt like I needed his friendship even though I had no idea who he was. My mother used to speak of him and his distant yet overwhelming love. She used to speak so kindly of him and in the sweetest voice I had ever heard my mother speak. If she could love this mysterious man in such a deep way I felt as if I should finally, after years of living alone, extend my voice to this wonderful man and long for his response.

So I knelt down and thanked this stranger for all the good that he had put in my life and asked him to continue blessing me and my mother. I thanked him for the love that he showed my mother as she raised me alone after she fled from my drunk, abusing father. I thanked him for being the anchor of my mothers life because in result her sturdiness has taught me to be strong. I ended my prayer with the words "I love you." And I sat there in perfect, still silence...

I LOVE YOU?????

 The peace in my mind was then overrun by mere confusion. I just told a stranger that I loved him. I know nothing of this man yet my heart felt the urge to proclaim thanks and love to him.  How could this be? What kind of spirit could have overtaken me and made me feel so close to a figure that was so far away?.. No answers came to mind but only confusion.

I put off the happenings of this morning and I continued along with my routine and after I showered, I proceeded to make breakfast. It was an egg and toast kind of morning. With my breakfast in my lap, I motioned to flip on the television but as I began to reach for the remote, I noticed the peaceful essence about the house and I didn't want to disturb the calm. So instead of the remote I reached for the blinds to the window and I proceeded to watch the front yard with more of a gentle heart than normal. The flowers seemed brighter. The songs of the sweet bird's singing sounded sweeter than ever before. The sun had a brilliant radiance about it that words cannot suffice while trying to describe its beauty. Something was different about today.

I was leaving to work and I almost got into my car when something hit me. I looked at my watch and realized that I had 25 extra minutes this morning and I felt a urge to walk to work today. To give you a little background... I have lived in my house for the past five years and I live less than a mile away from work and I have NEVER walked. Why would this thought occur to me now after five years of driving? I had no idea but you know I had no idea why I bowed my head this morning to a stranger but it must mean something. Maybe I should walk to work today I thought...

So I listened to that tiny voice in my head with my suitcase in hand and I joyfully walked to work. Step by step, I noticed how captivating everything that the world had to offer truly was. The colors of fall were all around me and I was brought to tears and sobbing even. The cool breeze in the early morning of that day in November had topped it off. I couldn't take it anymore. I found myself on a bench in the park drowning in tears but I was completely happy. The happiest that I could have ever recalled. Why was I crying if I was so "happy"?

The tears continued to drip and the sniffling of my nose hadn't stopped.  Then, in that newly found sanctuary from the ordinary, routine world, I was impressed again to call out for that stranger that my Mother had so dearly beloved. I longed to thank him again for all he gave me.

By this point in the morning, change came easy to me and I was beginning to accept it well. So I, called out into the darkness of the unknown and I asked him if he was there. There was no direct response and honestly it threw me off guard but nonetheless I called again and I heard nothing but something stirred inside me; something was different. My ears did not hear and my eyes did not see but my heart DID feel. I felt of the love that my mother had described to me again and again growing up. She always told me that even we could not see or hear him, he was always there, right beside us, matching us step by step. I never thought anything of this stranger except that he loved my mom and my mom loved him. I had never known for myself but I, by then wanted to know. I wanted to know more about this feeling.

I called the lady I had planned to see, Ms. Margarete, a sweet women I may add, and I called off my appointment with her that morning. I needed to know more about these strange happenings today.
I needed to know the stranger as well as my mother did.

With tears still in my eyes I sat on that park bench on that cool morning crying out with a  tone of despair, begging for answers but none came. Nothing came at first but then I found myself mortified by a surprising hand on my shoulder.

The two men who stood behind me offered their help and promised a way to dry up the tears that I had wept. They spoke of genuine happiness and of a man that could fulfill that promise...

They said they wore His name on their name tags, above their hearts for a reason...





*This is an original writing of Riley Royer

I love this painting. Take a second and enjoy.

The Strength to Stand. The Strength to Write. The Strength to Look Beyond!

The time has flown by and I have definitely been neglecting my writings. I have been putting my emotions on the back burner. How can I put aside something so crucial; something so beautifully infectious? Its time to rethink things. It's time to retrace my past steps and make a change. It's time to write how I feel...

As I begin to write down my mind, my heartbeat begins to race. The thrill makes it completely worth the effort. I feel myself growing stronger with every line; word by word I am building a fortitude for my weaknesses and making them my strengths. *Poetic Rehabilitation one may call it. It is a breath-taking process. I am standing on the highest building in the world when I am in this state of recovery. I am the strongest man alive when I feel its influence run through my veins just as a current of electricity. With my words I am invincible, or so I feel.

With me and my specific case I need a emotional storm to write efficiently and luckily the floods have come crashing... Finally...

The waves have hit me and set my world off, again but somehow I feel more at home. With my foundation no where to be seen I have began to rebuild, piece by piece. I have been praying for a car crash in order to experience more than I already know and THIS IS IT! The airbags have gone off!

I have received what I wanted but now what? Does this automatically quench my thirst of satisfaction? Does this mean everything will be better now?

No.

This is just a small glimpse of the ever-expanding timeline. There's much behind me and much more to come...

I am standing, outside of the wreckage of the crash and am living proof that through horrible situations great things can come to pass. They can mend you in ways you never thought possible. The darkness, if you allow it, can transform you into a brighter person. Optimistic Rehabilitation, one may call it, works and it a breath-taking process but don't just take my word for it... TRY IT!

Dripping... And Waiting for My Love

     The farther apart we are, the closer I feel to you. The distance scorches my heart and burns internally and I can not help but to long for you. I keep longing for the feeling I've dreamt of. I long for what I wish we had.
      I'm stuck, thousands of miles away with a burning passion to mean more to you than I do but you are content with the life you lead.
     Every night, as I call, it is as I am waiting by your door step with a flaming torch in one hand and a rose in the other, waiting for you to open your doors and let me in. As I sit and wait, with each and every passing second, I desire, to one day see you outside your own doors drenched, even dripping in the gasoline of loneliness and misery. I replay in my head the hallucination of you begging me to love you, begging for a spark. I continuously imagine sparking your interest and igniting your heart with the blaze of my deepest love.
    My flame is what you are searching for. Why can't you see? The surrounding fumes must be extremely blinding to make you miss something so special, so bright. One strike of a match is all I need to light up your world.
     Still I stand here, days later but with no sign of relief. My knees have begun to tremble excessively and the rose petals are withering away along with my hope. With each and every passing night, the darkness seems to get even darker and all that remains of my torch is an embarrassing ember on the end of a smoky stick. Just as the fire has given up and left the torch behind, I too must take one step after another and flee from this "love" with a determined mind to never look back. As I walked, step by step the withered petals began to fall, leaving a trace of my trail behind. The shriveled, black remains fell just as dead leaves on a crisp autumn morning. As they fell, the newer, more lively leaves began to blossom in their place. For once I began to feel strength that was surely my own and it felt breathtaking, truly resounding.

      With you, I am nothing more than a burnt-out torch and some withered petals...

      Without you, I am much more than a burnt-out torch and some withered petals...

      I have come to realize that there is beauty outside of your doors...

      Thank you for never opening up and letting me in.

       I sincerely appreciate all that your frigid corridors have shown me. Their darkness has drawn me  closer to the light.
   

Theres always a beginning.......

Every time you change your state of mind theres another beginning. Every time you close your eyes you're bound to see another door open. You'll see things how you see them: so change the way you look at them. If things aren't going how you would like, close your eyes and allow for those beautiful, wide doors to open. Let them swing, just as the bells swing in a revolution, declaring freedom. Declare your freedom from your bad times and make a pact to yourself to be the catlyst for your own smile or your new state of mind! : )  Each day is a new day. Close your eyes. Change your life.

Loneliness, My Notorious Friend

        Mrs. Akers class resulted in one good thing this year. She gave me time to write. Here's a piece I wrote for a free write but we were given a general topic. Just because I am writing in first person doesn't mean I am writing about my life.. keep that in mind! ;)

       "I live life sheltered and alone, only clinging to the distant love of my parents. Their love used to keep my warm but its glow has grown cold. The shelter of their smiles used to keep out the weather but now that I am alone, the wind has become overwhelming. I was introduced sorely to a frightful reality. Step by step my feet grew heavy and my smile became weary. To me their love became a whisper.

         I dragged myself to and from school each day, distanced from everyone; not even my shadow could have been trusted. I did not allow anyone to enter into the lonely, dark corridors of my heart because all love will eventually fail and fall through when you need it most. Instead I, to the brim, fill up my jar with expendable memories and I leave all emotion clear out of the way, hidden from the world.
      

       To the world my life is a truism but the real "me" is hidden and unknown. I now live in the notorious state known to the world as loneliness but it really isn't as bad of a place and most think. Once one learns to wield the power of loneliness, they will never be alone again. Loneliness really isn't as sad of a place as most think. Once one learns to wield the tricks of sadness, there is no more need for tears. Once one learns to wield the crafts of being sad, they will discover much more than the "happy" man.
Loneliness, sadness and darkness are all key parts of our lives. Conquer them and learn to gain control and you will be powerful beyond belief."

Submerged Love!

-This is what you get when someone special asks you to write them a poem. This was written in a clean 15 minutes so judge accordingly please! :)

"The crests of her smile remind me of the dark, beautiful depths of the ocean. When she smiles it seems like its just for me, hidden from the rest of the world. Her soft, loving words are like the slow rising tide between my toes. With every wave our love surely grows. Her love is composed of smiles and salt. I am covered in the oceans of love. These wonderful waters quench my thirst and I don't ever want to go back to my old ways of dry, barren love. The waters of love have drowned me but I feel no need to resist. With love, I am calm. with love, I no longer thirst."

I know that you are a million miles away by now but if you ever come back around, please know that I am sorry. The pressure got to my head when I was low and mindless. And you deserve better, much better. When you come back around my town and find pieces of my heart across the floor please note that it once smiled for you, before I opened my mouth. I'm sorry that I am sorry for saying sorry without the needed amount of sincerity. This miscalculation has only brought me here to dine with my old, forgotten friend, misery.  Again my whisper calls out... "Im sorry..."

Warmth in the Reflections of Christ

Do you know that feeling where the Spirit is just strong enough that you can almost put a title of the feeling that you are experiencing but no exact words come to mind, just a still breeze in your mind? Your lips begin to proclaim but then they begin to shake and silently close without causing a scene. The ink on the page begins to flow but is gradually clogs. I have become well acquainted with this numbing embrace and this is my attempt to overcome this overwhelming force. I KNOW that my Redeemer lives and He loves me  as no one I have known could love. He sends the Spirit with the hope to bring me closer unto Him. Inch by inch I crawl closer to the one that knows me most. He is aware of the calamities that wait ahead and He waits for me to come crashing down onto my humble heart. With scars on my knees and hope far behind me, I reach, searching for the answers that He longs to give me. It seems impossible to explain the peace that finds me when I am alone and cold, shivering and barely hanging on but none the less, the peace finds me and welcomes me, just as a Shepard to a lost sheep, just as Christ once did and always does. The peace smiles at me and I know for certain that it loves me and wants me to be happy. Christ's love and enduring grace reflects onto my soul as the sunlight over the lake. The warm, tender captivation stops me every time and leaves a smile on my face that cannot be defeated. With Him, I am strong!

Blind at Noon!

I hate myself for hating you. It's the virus inside of me that is crippling me by the second. The venom is settling in and I don't know where I am. I don't know who I am. I'm only aware of being lost somewhere, somewhere dark. The winding tunnels look like nothing I have ever known in my life. These halls are ever changing. Finally I stumbled across a light, dim but useful. With the newly found asset my journey's lungs were filled with fresh, new air. The chambers were now lit, showing all of the details on the walls like a heart on the sleeve. The light that was once a blessing has now brought me incredible pain; the truth. I realized that the endless, dark, gloomy halls that I had been travelling through had been my very own heart. It was mine but it was as common to me as an old German comic book. It scared me more than anything before that I had ever experienced. The farther I stay away, the happier (blinder) I am. Since that day I tore my heart off of my sleeve and vowed never to trust again! I crashed the lamp and fell to the floor breath-taken, barely with a beating pulse and I swore never to open my eyes again! I love the dark and how its love wont just walk away...

Love Pyromania!

It's that time again in which I feel the desire to spill out my heart with some ink on this cold, unfeeling computer screen. The root of my emotions is still blurry and unclear so I thought that writing this might open a venue into the unknown,dark,distant,cold pathways of my lonely,soulless heart.
I'm searching for the answers in this starless horizon, without her; without her but with someone else.
I'm with someone but I feel alone, even while she is holding me tight and smiling her smile; I feel empty and I'm only thinking of you. Your smile fills my cavities with a lovely, warm feeling like that of a cozy fireplace. Instead of a slight ember burning in my soul I wish that you would set me to flames using the kerosene of your love. I wish you would drench me and let the flames engulf my spirit. You could be the arsonist of our love and neither of us would ever have to feel the chilled, bitterness of the passing wind ever again. What do you say? I'll get the matches and you bring that resounding smile of yours and I think we'll have a deal. Once our love is kindled I'll never let it fade. I long to be obsessed with your sea of flames and every time I think of you I am scorched more severely. Your fire makes me whole. You satisfy my soul.

The Feeling of Nothing

      I remember the way your smile lit up when he was yours. I remember the giggle in your tone.Your fingers  resonated brightly because of him and those hands that you used to hold tight and warm. That bond was your castle and no one could hurt you. No one could make you fall. Layer by layer, brick by brick, together you built a steady love but the foundation was weak. He intentionally designed the mass to overwhelm you eventually but He was willing lighten a little of the load in exchange for what He wanted. You thought your smiles were set as one but there he left you, clueless and alone on that bitter cold night. While you sit there and freeze, your memories are burning through your mind, and all you can do is replay that deathly painful, yet beautiful night. What happened? His smile was glowing brightly underneath the inconsistent lighting of the fireworks. With each explosion it was as if your emotions were in sync with the fireworks, his smile was your smile and you enjoyed every minute. That magical moment sizzled in your soul and your heart was whispering to you, "go ahead...this is love and its yours to grasp... don't let it slip through those warm fingers of yours... don't let them go cold... again."

       And there you sit, days later, with your abandoned fingers next to the flames of the bridges that you've burnt but you feel nothing.You are nothing. Nothing can replace the warmth of that horribly amazing night. You call across the remains of a bridge but again, you hear nothing. You feel nothing. You are nothing. You bind up any remnant of hope and release it over the rim, never to feel of it again but like a anchor it weighs you down, over the edge, to the depths of your despair.

"The River Flows In You"

"The River Flows In You" but it used to used flow in us.
The loved we shared, the time just wasn't enough.
Everytime I think about you and how you left,
I just sit there crying and I feel much less..
Much less without you...