Love Pyromania!

It's that time again in which I feel the desire to spill out my heart with some ink on this cold, unfeeling computer screen. The root of my emotions is still blurry and unclear so I thought that writing this might open a venue into the unknown,dark,distant,cold pathways of my lonely,soulless heart.
I'm searching for the answers in this starless horizon, without her; without her but with someone else.
I'm with someone but I feel alone, even while she is holding me tight and smiling her smile; I feel empty and I'm only thinking of you. Your smile fills my cavities with a lovely, warm feeling like that of a cozy fireplace. Instead of a slight ember burning in my soul I wish that you would set me to flames using the kerosene of your love. I wish you would drench me and let the flames engulf my spirit. You could be the arsonist of our love and neither of us would ever have to feel the chilled, bitterness of the passing wind ever again. What do you say? I'll get the matches and you bring that resounding smile of yours and I think we'll have a deal. Once our love is kindled I'll never let it fade. I long to be obsessed with your sea of flames and every time I think of you I am scorched more severely. Your fire makes me whole. You satisfy my soul.

The Feeling of Nothing

      I remember the way your smile lit up when he was yours. I remember the giggle in your tone.Your fingers  resonated brightly because of him and those hands that you used to hold tight and warm. That bond was your castle and no one could hurt you. No one could make you fall. Layer by layer, brick by brick, together you built a steady love but the foundation was weak. He intentionally designed the mass to overwhelm you eventually but He was willing lighten a little of the load in exchange for what He wanted. You thought your smiles were set as one but there he left you, clueless and alone on that bitter cold night. While you sit there and freeze, your memories are burning through your mind, and all you can do is replay that deathly painful, yet beautiful night. What happened? His smile was glowing brightly underneath the inconsistent lighting of the fireworks. With each explosion it was as if your emotions were in sync with the fireworks, his smile was your smile and you enjoyed every minute. That magical moment sizzled in your soul and your heart was whispering to you, "go ahead...this is love and its yours to grasp... don't let it slip through those warm fingers of yours... don't let them go cold... again."

       And there you sit, days later, with your abandoned fingers next to the flames of the bridges that you've burnt but you feel nothing.You are nothing. Nothing can replace the warmth of that horribly amazing night. You call across the remains of a bridge but again, you hear nothing. You feel nothing. You are nothing. You bind up any remnant of hope and release it over the rim, never to feel of it again but like a anchor it weighs you down, over the edge, to the depths of your despair.